Personality Modeling. Subject: Carly.

I used IBM’s Watson User Modeling service on one of Carly’s recent blog posts to obtain an objective analysis of her personality.

The Watson User Modeling service uses linguistic analytics to extract a spectrum of cognitive and social characteristics from the text data that a person generates through text messages, tweets, posts, and more.

Here are the results:

This is her brain on data.

#define carlys_mind()

As you can see, there are some interesting observations here.

  • Carly is extremely agreeable. (99%) – I think this is because she is writing for all of you, because when she is with just me, this metric is closer to -1000%.
  • Carly does not need love. (4%) – I am clearly the perfect fiance; if anything I give her too much love.
  • Carly values self-transcendence. (100%) – She does do yoga.
  • Carly does not seek excitement. (1%) – Can confirm: Carly hates fun.
  • Carly is not self-conscious. (3%) – She is OUT OF CONTROL.
  • Carly have many intellect. (40%) – No comment (see Fiery 63%).

For the record, I am grateful to the NSA and our future computer overlords for their loving attention to our personalities, and I welcome their rule. All hail AI!

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