Carlyisms Part One – Inappropriate Carly

Carly is wildly inappropriate. No matter what the setting, Carly finds some way to say that one thing that will make everyone laugh uncomfortably, and she always says it at MAXIMUM VOLUME. It’s a gift.

Classic Carly. (Yes, she is flipping me off while Instagraming her food.)

For instance, playing a game of Things with Carly is…an adventure. If you’re not familiar with it, the game of Things is a game that gives you a provocative topic such as: “THINGS… your parents forgot to tell you.” You write down your answer, and then everyone takes turns guessing who answered what. It’s always easy to guess Carly’s answer because it will be by far the most offensive. Here are some examples:

Things you would wish from from a genie?

Everyone else’s answer: “More wishes”

Carly’s answer: “SLAVES”

Things you want to be able to do when you are 85?

Everyone else’s answer: “Sex”

Carly’s answer: “Sex while taking a sh*t.”

Things is a provocative game, the point is to be crazy and funny. Maybe Carly is just trying to be funny? I don’t think it’s that simple. Case in point: Balderdash. Here is an example of one of Carly’s Balderdash answers.

The category is Movies, you have to write a plot summary based on a random movie title. The movie title is “The Next.”

Before you read on, take a moment to consider what you would put as a plot summary for a movie called “The Next.”

I guarantee you it is nothing like Carly’s answer.

Carly wrote, “Foreigners in Amsterdam visit a sex nest called the Next.”


Carly’s comments are not limited to games. No, Carly’s weirdly inappropriate comments transcend all social events and settings. For instance, just last night we went to out to eat with a group of friends before Carly went with them to see a production of Les Miserables (which she had never seen before) at the local community theater. Everyone gets a margarita, and we toast. Carly volunteers to say the toast. I cringe.

Carly raises her glass, “May we never be as poor as the people in Les Miserables.”